My Journey to Here

Kit Buckley

If someone had told my teenage self that one day I would be running a church business ministry, facilitating training workshops, or running a business with my husband, I probably would have thrown up on the spot!

As a teen, I would be so anxious at the thought of speaking in front of people that I would be physically sick - even if it was only a small study group. In fact, I threw up every week before going to the small group at my youth and this continued through my years as a young adult. My mother used to call it a ‘Woolworths stomach’ (whatever that was meant to mean)!

Nowadays I might have been diagnosed with Social Anxiety, but I’m so grateful I wasn’t. I didn’t have a label for what I was going through, so it never occurred to me that I couldn’t or shouldn’t attempt the things I wanted to do. When I wanted to enter an Occupational Therapy Degree, I just knew I would need to take the time to build my confidence so I could pass the group interview I needed to get in.

As I prayed about this, I felt God lead me to step out of my comfort zone completely and become an Intermediates Youth Group Leader, (we called it VETZ / Very Early Teenz back then). I was comfortable dealing with babies so I’d been serving in Creche, but I knew I would need to find my voice fast if I was going to take on 10 & 11 year-olds! And I did! Running the Sunday sessions and Friday nights, I began to grow my confidence in leading a group and speaking publicly. It took me two years to pass the group interview I needed to get into my course, but eventually, I made it because of the confidence I’d gained serving in church.

Around the same time, there was an end-of-year gathering at church run by the Intermediates, and we were planning who would speak the message at it. I knew God was doing something new in me because I found myself saying “I’ll do it”. I had no idea where that had come from but knew it must have been God for me to even consider or voice such a thing! So, I decided to submit to His leading and while I did throw up beforehand, I actually did it. It was a huge step in overcoming my fear of public speaking, and I haven’t looked back since.

Over the years I have prayerfully stepped into various roles, and all of them have been outside my comfort zone. I’ve felt God guiding me to trust Him and follow His leading, even if I’m scared.

At one stage I was encouraged to have a SOZO session where the Holy Spirit revealed the lie I had been believing for a long time. As a young child, I had a speech impediment and He showed me how that had caused me to hide behind other people and not want to be heard. He showed me the truth - that He has given me a voice for a purpose, and the ability to do what He has called me to. Accepting this truth has been the biggest factor in helping me step into all the scary ‘faith steps’ He has called me into.

Don’t let any label or diagnosis limit what God can do in and through you. What you struggle with now doesn’t need to be a part of your future.

As you respond to God’s small promptings and take each little step of trusting Him, you will be amazed at what He can do through ‘little ol you’.