When I think about the times that God has done the impossible in my life, I’m reminded of how he has helped me overcome huge obstacles in my life that seemed out of reach, or too heavy to carry on my own.

During my high school years my life started to feel shaky and this soon became a significant challenge. As this shakiness grew over time, I eventually found myself struggling with crippling anxiety. On one of my lowest days, I remember waking up feeling completely on edge, my heart racing and finding it hard to breathe. I remember being so upset and betrayed by God, and asking “God, If you love me so much, why would you put me through this?!” I wrestled with this question a lot, as I felt like my life had fallen to complete rock bottom.

The anxiety grew to the point where I couldn't last longer than 15-20 minutes in my morning classes. I would end up excusing myself to go to the bathroom, where I would really be messaging my Mum to urgently come and pick me up before I spiralled into full blown panic. This was my pattern for several months… I would get up to get ready for school, get dropped off, find myself panicking again, then call Mum to pick me up, or race to the school counsellor if Mum couldn’t get me soon enough.

I reached the point where even going anywhere would be a struggle-; shopping centres, supermarkets, cafes, restaurants, and even church. I couldn’t calm myself down enough and would get anxious at the thought of going into any place that wasn’t home. I was sure I’d have a panic attack there and not be able to escape fast enough, so I ended up avoiding these places altogether.

However, during this period I continued calling out to God, even though I couldn’t fully understand at the time why he allowed this to happen to me. As I pressed into God out of desperation, my personal relationship with Him began to grow. I soon began to realise that there actually is an enemy out there trying to steal, kill and destroy. I began walking closely with God and came to understand that this wasn’t the Father’s intention for my life at all. As I began reading The Bible and spending time with God I felt a shift mentally. I would often feel an overwhelming sense of His presence and even though the storm around me felt so real, God would bring the raging storm within me to ease so I could praise Him in the middle of it.

In year 12 I met Jay at Activate Church. He came into my life at the perfect time and began walking this journey alongside me. I did so many things with him that I had been avoiding for some time because of the anxiety. To be honest being so distracted by being in love probably helped! But at the same time I was so curious and excited to learn more about God with him, and found myself improving as I gleaned from his wisdom and experiences. Not long after Jay and I started dating, we got engaged, married, and now have a beautiful daughter.

Since being at Activate I have dived a lot deeper into my faith, not just having an intimate relationship with God, but outworking it in ways like learning to hear God’s voice, prophesying, praying for healing and so much more. I was surrounded by people who uplifted and encouraged me, and who saw something in me that I couldn’t see in myself. As a young girl out of High School with struggles and insecurities trying to navigate herself and her direction, I found it so encouraging to have people around me calling out what they saw on my life. This helped me immensely with the confidence to serve in church, from youth leading and helping where needed at events, to working at church on staff in the communications team, and now pastoring a church with my husband. I can truly say that without the God encounters, without people speaking life into me, without trusting God through the process, and saying yes to opportunities even though they felt out of reach - I wouldn’t be where I am today.

I have such a big heart to see the lost brought back home. I long to see the ones that feel broken, who are hurting, and who are walking their own struggles to be brought into the light so they can start living a life full of freedom and purpose, as God intended for us all. I’m still walking this journey, but I can say hands down that I couldn’t do it without Jesus by my side.

I’m not gonna lie, worry, fear or anxiety get the better of me; so much so that I would rather avoid certain situations. But there have been countless times in my life that I’ve had to step back from the lens of worry and see through the lens God has for me. The lens of God’s truth, that I am capable and can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:6, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.”)

I had to put this into practice a few years ago when I was booked to take my first plane trip. I was filled with nerves leading up to the day we flew. It wasn’t a long flight, but I had never flown before and I was opposed to the idea of being confined in a small space for a couple of hours.

Whenever I get overwhelmed with nerves, it can take a lot of energy out of me and I remember thinking ‘This is so exhausting to find the energy to push through.’ In that moment I had a realisation that actually I don’t need to do this in my own strength and I was reminded of the verse from Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (NKJV). Even though these may only seem like words, these words are powerful and gave me the strength to push through. I found great relief and comfort knowing I didn't have to rely on my strength but I could lean on my Heavenly Father… And because of that I had a great first flight experience which was much better than I expected. A peace that exceeds all understanding!

Even though it may seem like a small win, for me it was massive. I’ve learnt that it’s important to celebrate the small wins and let it encourage me for next time.

I pray that as you read this, you would know the steadfast love and peace that God has for you in the everyday overwhelming moments that not everyone sees. God, I lift up the ones that feel like they’re just getting by; that they would know your nearness and that our hearts desire would be to seek your face. Thank you God that you’re a good God and that your intentions are to never hurt us, but to give us life and life to the full.